I received an Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) of this book from Netgalley and Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group, Feiwel & Friends, and Colored Pages Book Tour. This has not impacted my rating and this review is voluntary.
- Genre: YA, Fiction
- Published by: Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group, Feiwel & Friends
- Publish date: July 11, 2023
- Number of pages: 320 pages
- Author’s website: https://www.shannoncfrogers.com/
- Support local! Buy the book on BookShop!
Packed with voice, Shannon C.F. Rogers’ I’d Rather Burn than Bloom is a powerful YA novel about a Filipina-American teen who tries to figure out who she really is in the wake of her mother’s death.
Some girls call their mother their best friend. Marisol Martin? She could never relate. She and her mom were forever locked in an argument with no beginning and no end. Clothes, church, boys, no matter the topic, Marisol always felt like there was an unbridgeable gap between them that they were perpetually shouting across, one that she longed to close.
But when her mother dies suddenly, Marisol is left with no one to fight against, haunted by all the things that she both said and didn’t say. Her dad seems completely lost, and worse, baffled by Marisol’s attempts to connect with her mother’s memory through her Filipino culture. Her brother Bernie is retreating further and further into himself. And when Marisol sleeps with her best friend’s boyfriend – and then punches said best friend in the face – she’s left alone, with nothing but a burning anger, and nowhere for it to go.
And Marisol is determined to stay angry, after all, there’s a lot to be angry about– her father, her mother, the world. But as a new friendship begins to develop with someone who just might understand, Marisol reluctantly starts to open up to her, and to the possibility there’s something else on the other side of that anger– something more to who she is, and who she could be.
Rating: 4.5/5
A heart-wrenching and heartfelt story about a Filipina-American teen struggling with the death of her mother.
This novel was a great reminder that everyone grieves in their own way. We, of course, are in the perspective of Marisol but we also get a glimpse into how her younger brother and father are grieving as well.
This story felt eerily similar to my own. I am also Filipina-American and my mom unexpectedly fell into a coma when I was 20 years old. She never woke up and then passed a couple of years later. Similar to Marisol’s parents, my mom and dad met because of the military. Then to top it all off, my last name is Martin haha!
I also have two younger brothers and an older sister. Marisol’s story gave me a glimpse into some of the struggles my youngest brother may have been enduring because he was the same age as Marisol when we lost our mom. Specifically, I remember how his driving lessons go put on hold and all the driving scenes with Marisol reminded me of that. How Marisol dealt with her mother’s passing was so different from how I did, but I appreciated the difference. However, like Marisol, I did engage in some self-destructive behaviors, but that’s a story for another time.
I thought this novel gave a unique look into what it feels like to not only lose your mother, but a mother who was your connection to part of your culture. Growing up, my mom did not teach us Tagolog because she wanted to give us the best chance of assimilation. In other words, she didn’t want us to be “othered” due to an accent like she experienced. Prior to losing her, she had begun teaching me some phrases. I thought the author, Shannon C. F. Rogers, did a wonderful job at conveying the hole that a mother can leave especially when without her you no longer hear her language as often, participate in certain events, nor eat the same food. I had always planned to visit the Philippines with my mom and never got to; I feel a loss from all the stories I didn’t get a chance to hear about her life before kids, and I feel a connection to her through Filipino food dishes. There’s a scene in the novel where Marisol tries to make garlic fried rice and I instantly thought of eating this for breakfast with my mom. Something my sister has done is to recreate the dishes and has written them down to pass on.
This book can be a comfort to other Fil-Ams and a look into what it’s like for children of interracial and immigrant couples. The characters are imperfect and relatable. Although my review focuses on grief, I should also mention that this novel does cover coming-of-age, friendship, and sibling dynamics. This story was close to home for me, but regardless of your background, I think many will be touched by this story.
Have you read this book? What are your thoughts? I’d love to know!
Musings by Michelle 