Book Review — Restaurant Kid by A Memoir of Family and Belonging by Rachel Phan

• Genre: Memoir
• Published by: Pegasus Books
• Publish date: April 1, 2025
• Number of pages: pages
• Author’s website: https://www.rachelphan.com/
• Support local! Buy the book on BookShop!

A warm and poignant narrative about finding one’s self amidst the grind of restaurant life, the cross-generational immigrant experience, and a daughter’s attempts to connect with parents who have always been just out of reach.

When she was three years old, Rachel Phan met her replacement. Instead of a new sibling, her parents’ time and attention were suddenly devoted entirely to their new family restaurant. For her parents—whose own families fled China during Japanese occupation and then survived bombs and starvation during the war in Vietnam—it was a dream come true. For Rachel, it was something quite different. Overnight, she became a restaurant kid, living on the periphery of her own family and trying her best to stay out of the way.

As Rachel grew up, the restaurant was the most stalwart and suffocating member of her family. For decades, it’s been both her family’s crowning achievement and the origin of so much of their pain and suffering: screaming matches complete with smashed dishes, bodies worn down by long hours and repetitive strain, and tenuous relationships where they love one another deeply without ever really knowing each other.

In Restaurant Kid, Rachel seeks to examine the way her life has been shaped by the rigid boxes placed around her. She had to be a “good daughter,” never asking questions, always being grateful. She had to be a “real Canadian,” watching hockey and speaking English so flawlessly that her tongue has since forgotten how to contort around Cantonese tones. As the only Chinese girl at school, she had to alternate between being the sidekick, geek, or Asian fetish, depending on whose gaze was on her.

Now, three decades after their restaurant first opened, Rachel’s parents are cautiously talking about retirement. As an adult, Rachel’s “good daughter” role demands something new of her—and a chance to get to know her parents away from the restaurant.

Bringing to lyric life the poignancy of growing up in a “third culture,” Rachel Phan has crafted a vibrant new narrative of growing up, the strength and foibles of family, and how we come to understand ourselves.

Rating: 5/5

A story that explores the complicated relationships of family from the youngest daughter of immigrants. I love that the restaurant functions as a character in this memoir. When you have something that becomes so ingrained in your family structure, of course, it becomes a central part of your life. Rachel Phan explores being a Chinese person in Canada. She is frank about the struggles she has faced and the ways that she needed to grow. She holds herself accountable. She does the same for her parents, and through this story, she acknowledges what they have been through and how that has informed how she was raised. I don’t want to give too much away, but Rachel’s parents sought refuge in Canada to escape their war-torn home during the Vietnam war. She gives grace and love to her parents, her siblings, and herself that I found so beautiful.

I was moved by this memoir. The reason I sought out this book was that I saw some similarities between the author and myself. In my request of this arc, I explained how I, too, was the daughter of an immigrant. Although the circumstances of how and why my mom moved to the US differed greatly from Rachel’s parents, the desire for a better life for herself and her kids is the same at its core. My mom also started her own business and it took a lot from her mind, body, and soul. I admire how Rachel gives her parents their flowers through this book, and I thank her for sharing their story.

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts? I’d love to know! Have any questions about this book? My comments and DMs are open!

I received an Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) of this book from Colored Pages Book Tours, Pegasus Books, and Rachel Phan. This has not impacted my rating and this review is voluntary.